Have you ever met someone that strangely reminded you of someone else? Are you a firm believer in the saying "history always repeats itself"? Well, I for one am able to answer "yes" to each question. Now, I've never actually met the 80's heartthrob himself, Corey Feldman, however I have it on my own good authority that he bares striking similarities to a much more preserved, less burnt out version of (drum roll, por favor):
Aha! It's almost too good to be true. Keyword here: Almost. The lesson of the day is that Tools have been around for decades, possibly even centuries (though I'm pretty sure a little twit I'll call Napoleon would like to think otherwise). But, as Andy Dick said in Old School, "That's neither here, nor there". Now, ok. Comparing Corey Feldman to Ryan Seacrest is kind of like saying that Jessica Simpson's new shoe line is just as good as Christian Louboutin's (which, if you ask me, is completely true because yet again Jessica "The Ho" Simpson has managed to put her sticky little fingers in another f-ing business enterprise simply by stealing others' ideas.) Just because they look alike, does in no way mean that they are alike. Looks can be incredibly deceiving if we have learned anything from Corey Feldman (and his apparent passion for nasal exercises back in the day) and Ryan Seacrest's obvious fear of being outed as a gay man (that little rendez-vous with Teri Hatcher? Yeah, not buying it.) Well, the point of all of this is that Ryan Seacrest is the reinvented Corey Feldman Tool...an extremely rare breed occuring in only twenty year increments.